So life in the new hood is grand. Just grand. Doing all sorts of domestic crap. Look at this centerpiece. Regular ol’ Martha Freaking Stewart over here:

And also this welcome sign!:

Can’t believe how quickly we adjusted to our new location, and even more unbelievable is how little I even think about Bayview. I was anticipating many more tears but I am THE happiest clam in the burbs. I fear that this speaks volumes about the truth of my inner lameness but what can I say, apparently my life’s happiness improves exponentially with each mile closer to Woodman’s that I live. Also our house is just fabulous. I feel like I am living in a hotel. A hotel filled already top to bottom with dog hair, but a hotel nonetheless. We also sniffed out our new dive bar within minutes of our suburbanization so having Puddler’s 2.0 ready to wet our whistles down the block gives us the comfort of the old hood. Also it has fried food.

Speaking of food, OG has been going through some annoying nutrient related behaviors lately such as being a little asshole with my carefully prepare culinary delights and dumping everything on the floor whilst grinning wickedly. Sometimes she is the picture of proper, delicately cramming handful after handful of jelly smeared waffle into her overstuffed piehole, stopping only to gag up the bites that weren’t quite chewed enough up for a little more dousing of saliva and then choked back down again, faster than the speed of light. But then we have days where I can’t get her to take even a bite or two. So it’s literally feast or famine.

That being said I am slowing mastering the art of making somewhat healthy food appear appealing to evil toothy gremlins. Here is a sampling of my most frequently pinned recipes to imaginary toddler boards:

Ham Mush:

1. Chop up ham
2. Chop up cheese
3. Chop up tomatoes
4. Drown in cottage cheese
5. Stir & serve

Turkey Mush:

1. Chop up turkey
2. Chop up cheese
3. Chop up tomatoes
4. Drown in cottage cheese
5. Stir & serve

Mac N Mush:

1. Make mac n cheese
2. Drown in cottage cheese
3. Stir & serve

Mush:

1. Serve cottage cheese. She’s into it. Barf.

Unfortunately, this little love of dairy has lead to some mighty large bathroom issues for little miss tadpole… Aka a little constipation station. Aka hard poops the size of softballs. That sometimes get stuck halfway out. That mommy has to dig out with her fingers. Look at those nursing skills coming in handy!

Pushing….

Crying and pushing…

Resting after losing 1 pound of solid rock:

Poor little poop machine. Hilariously loud toots though. So that’s a bonus.

We had the busiest and best holiday season as per usual, making the rounds between Gates’ family and mine and were blessed with great weather for the trek north. It was a weird week with my grandfather passing, and ended up going up to Rapids Christmas day taking my brother James with us after he flew in from Austin, then back down to Milwaukee with my sister Katherine in tow, leaving James and Olivia in care of my parents for a few days, before rendezvousing back in Rapids the following weekend for the funeral. An odd holiday for sure, torn between celebrating the season and my grandpa’s wonderful life, and mourning his passing and the change that the end of an era brings.

Speaking of the holidays, on Christmas day Olivia literally stood up and started toddling about like a drunk little sailor. She is now unsteadily running all over the place and working on a collection of bruises and fat lips sure to get CPS called on me someday, but truly her head is just a little too big for her unsteady baby giraffe legs and she just goes toppling down and  back up like a weeble wobble. She has also really started being able to actually “play” as opposed to us dangling things above her to swat at like an overgrown kitten, so that has been a major breakthrough for my boredom level when I spend time home with her. Big spender over here allocated $40 of my scratcher cash towards a little playhouse for her procured from a shady craigslist encounter and she literally spends hours just ringing the doorbell and walking in and out of the door. She is looking and acting so much like a tiny person vs a loud squash lately that my cold dead heart is cheered. She is hilarious and so fun to watch.

She absolutely LOVES to read, and will scramble over to us with book in tow and plop down on our laps to be read to, demanding every book be read over and over and over. She has started anticipating her favorite pages coming up in her most cherished books and will start to bounce and grunt in delight as we near those pages… and then proclaim excitements and gibberish and point to her favorite little parts on the page and look up at us to make sure we share in the exhilaration. She also will reluctantly settle for reading to herself if we are physically and emotionally unable to tolerate reading the same book for the 109th time in a row and will spend a good 10-15 minutes pawing through pages on her own.

We’ve been keeping busy in the cold, haven’t had to bust out our gigantic new snow blower yet so Gates is of course looking forward to its inaugural tour de driveway when that day arrives. We threw a holiday party/housewarming for ourselves with all the fixings and libations and felt warm with the glow of love from our nearest and dearest and also a keg of Spotted Cow. And now in just a week or two Gates and I are sneaking away to New Orleans for a long weekend when I join him on the tail end of his monthly business trip to the dirty south and my parents flock down to MKE to watch Olivia for us so we can frolic amongst the chicory and the andouille and the grits and the shrimps and the gumbos. I found a sweet little condo on Airbnb right smack in the middle of Bourbon street and am already having anxiety about how on earth we will decide where to eat. I am also looking forward to a little solo airline travel, not that I don’t love sitting next to Gates on planes but it is rare to have more than a few minutes to myself to read and I literally cannot wait to have hours of uninterrupted reading time. God help them if any strangers tries to make small talk with me. That is not on the agenda. And maybe if we are lucky the cold snap will break and we will even get a little balmy weather down there in the bayou. Only time will tell.

Until then:

 

Annnnnnnd I finally did a little something for myself and added to the ink collection!

Olive branches for Olivia of course. Also world peace. Also olives.