Back at work for a month now and we’ve got our routine pretty much down to a science. Can’t believe she is four months old! She’s checking her milestones off the list in an orderly fashion, as one would expect from the offspring of 2 type A nerds. Loves playing with toys, shaking rattles, holds her head up like a champ, rolls from her tummy to her back, smiles at everyone, screeches at everyone, etc, etc. Torn completely with my desire for her to learn and grow and start doing more things, and also for her to stay exactly the way she is for as long as possible. I think this is the paradox of parenthood. That and wishing desperately for a break from your kid and then missing them in the most painful way the second you get your break.

What’s new, what’s new…

Squid has started to do a v annoying Helen Keller-y situation where she has to have her fat little paw patting around my face at all times when she is with me. She does it almost subconsciously, like she will be staring at the cat/TV/wall/nothing/whatever and then her little arm will just start to snake across my torso and up my neck until she can feel my face. Since her hands are constantly in her mouth like so:

– this means that her hands are always damp, sticky, and kinda gross smelling – so subsequently now my face is also. Here she is, starting with the chin and then will work her way across all of my facial real estate…

…like so:

I’m not sure what she gets out of this strange little habit but at least I got at least a few pictures captured  before she moves on to her next weird hobby. Unlike the nipple-pinch “let me save my place here while I doze off” situation she used to do when she was done feeding that I kept forgetting to snap a photo of and now she doesn’t do anymore. But I guess I also probably couldn’t have shared that photo with many without igniting the flame of rage from the OMG NUDITY breastfeeding shamers with my nip. One little nipple, so much rage.

Also not seen well in the above pictures but OH SO THERE is OG’s newest set of self-inflicted bloody claw marks on her own little mug. Ever since the tip-snip incident a few weeks back I’ve been terrible about keeping her nails trimmed, so more bad parenting awards to me. I am getting quite the collection.

This week I also reached a new milestone in unsafe driving where I stretched my arm into the backseat and fed her a bottle while stuck in a traffic jam to try to quiet her screams. It is not my proudest moment. Also when I grocery shop I just kinda pile things on her like so:

And she’s definitely wearing her PJs still. Also when out and about and people say “Oh, what a sweet little boy, what’s his name?”, I just reply:”Oliver” and don’t even bother correcting them. All top notch parenting.

Our first jaunt to the northwoods with beeb was amazing. We ended up leaving after work Thursday night because snow was forecasted all day Friday and we wanted to avoid bad weather. Of course, this meant that the forecast changed immediately as soon as we were on the road and we ended up in a blizzard. Good thing Papa Bear has his business together behind the wheel, so we were delivered safely to Hayweird in the middle of the night and plopped babe in the outstretched arms of Nana and Papa and then basically didn’t have to do anything for the rest of the weekend for her. They even happily kept her in their room overnight which was amazing for us and probably less of a joyride for them. Despite the blizzard, Birkie was cancelled due to the tropical temps that had lasted the whole week leading up to the race, but it was party as usual around the old homestead. Loved seeing the company that comes up every year! OG got smushed and squeezed and loved on by all, she had her first trip to the Angry Minnow and then her first taste of Angry Minnow breast milk like 6 hours later, we let Nana feed her rice cereal for the first time which both Nana and baby loved, she showed off her screeching skills, and she got bundled up and bussed to the new race starting line to watch the little bit of skiing that people could participate in with the limited snow. And rang her first Birkie bell of course!

Prize awarded to the first person who spots OG’s calling card in the above pics.

The no sleep situation got out of control somewhere between when I went back to work and the past week or so… I don’t want to jinx it but I think we may have turned a corner in the past few days as she did a night with us up only every 2 hours and a night with my in-laws where she was down in 4 hour stretches. This is v exciting because I have started to become extremely stupid lately and have been doing things like bumping into walls and saying “oh, excuse me” and then realizing it’s a wall and being like “Omg I thought you were a person”, etc. I also forgot Olivia’s name recently and referred to her as “what’s her face” when talking to someone… Sleep deprivation is a scary beast. I’ve become so desperate that I have even tried all of the things that I make fun of people for doing and refer to as “hippie dippie shit”, as we are only faux hippies in the sense that we live in Bayview, worship Bernie Sanders, and drink IPAs with PBR chasers. We have tried: essential oil blends specific for calming and better sleep, swaddles of every shape and variety, anti-colic drops and gripe water, baby chiropractic and reflexology, and OG and I are even taking a baby massage class together in the next week… Guess what though, NONE OF IT IS DOING A DAMN THING. But I think we are turning a corner… Possibly. Maybe. Stay tuned. And I think I am going to take a page out of my husband’s book and get her name tattooed on my arm for easy reference to avoid the forgotten name situation, just in case.

Meanwhile, at her sitter’s: WOW Olivia has been sleeping for 3 hours! I moved her around and took her out of the swing and tried to wake her up but she is just zonked!

At home: Finally dozes off after an hour of rocking and bouncing and fans blasting… 5 minutes later cat’s tail quietly swishes in the air 20 feet away from her, she’s awake and done napping for the day. It must be me!

Here is a little showcase of our many varieties of swaddling.

And finally, for your viewing pleasure:

“I’m a Motherf*cking Starfish!”

But oh OG how we love your silly, smiley, sleepless, squidly self!

Good ol’ Oliver!