I’ve was a Daddy’s girl from the start. As a freshly baked potato hot from the oven I was the rudest baby ever, constantly screaming and carrying on, crying for no reason, giving my poor mom no break in the screeching action for hours on end. Yet when my dad would come home after a long day of rolling around in the forest with a Smokey the Bear costume on, I would quiet the second he had me in my arms – provided he rocked me up and down in a very specific manner while singing Bruce Springsteen songs to me – well, only songs from his Born in the USA album.

I grew up idolizing my dad, he was a real life super hero. He was so brave! He went off to fight fires in the woods, he saved people and animals from burning up. He was so strong! My brother and I could both latch on to a leg and he could walk with both of us holding on tight. He was so fun! We would all play this game we called Lion In The Middle, and we would try to scurry from one side of the room to the other before Dad the lion could catch us and tickle us to death. He was so smart! He knew how to tear down walls and build our house bigger, bit by bit. He knew the name of every tree, and tracks of the animals. He knew the guy at the dump! He knew how to call geese and how to make a sound like a loon! He knew how to spoil us! Every Saturday he made us pancakes or waffles. Errands with him sometimes meant a donut or a hot chocolate. He was so patient! When I decided I was a dog named Maggie and would only respond as such, he played fetch with me with a toy bone and pet me on the head. He spent endless hours untangling my fishing line over and over and over. He was so athletic! We used to go watch him play softball! He taught every one of us how to throw and hit a baseball, to catch a football and throw a perfect spiral, to dribble a basketball and shoot a free throw, and to play soccer. He coached so many of our teams, and our friends loved having him as a coach too! He was a fighter! His kidneys got sick and he got sick too, but the doctors sliced him up to bits and shoved a fresh kidney in there and he was as good as new! And he was so funny! He told us the stupidest jokes. He always could make us laugh. Bungee jumping centers and all.

It was a rude awakening for me to realize that not all of my friends had dads like mine. Some of my friend’s dads were never home, some of them didn’t even live at their home, and some of them were downright grouchy. Not all my friends had dads who came to their dance recitals and dutifully filmed them clomping their way across the stage in a tutu like mine did. Not many of them had dads that coached their soccer and t-ball teams, that cheered them on during games, that gave pep talks and advice. Some of my friend’s dads yelled really loudly and threatened them with spankings!  Some of them SMOKED CIGARETTES!!! And none of my friend’s dads dressed up in a Smokey the Bear costume and came to school to teach us about fire prevention, or drove their fire truck home and showed us where the hose shot the water out, or had an office where they kept bear traps and had fish in a big tank, and proudly displayed on the walls of their office all the knick-knacky crap their litter of small children lovingly crafted for them.

You would think with this great example of a male figure in my life (and also 2 wonderful grandfathers very involved in our lives) when I got older I would subconsciously find myself attracted to romantic partners with similar admirable attributes. But no, I tended to fall madly in love with the vagrant, abandoning, homeless type – quick to steal your heart, but also cash. Loyal only to their own needs. A stranger to basic manners/and/or personal hygiene. Obsessed with video games. Perpetually jobless. Usually sleeping with someone else/and/or not disclosing Class E felonies. Cigarette smokers! Yet, I stuck with them, believed in them, forgave them, cleaned up after them, and figured this was the crop of men that my generation grew and harvested, that there really wasn’t anything better out there.

And then I met Gates.

This dude.

He is so brave! When I hear the creatures of the night in my imagination, he pops right up out of bed and runs to investigate! He isn’t scared of anyone, he doesn’t hesitate to protect me from anyone or anything he thinks might hurt me, including thunder.  He is so strong! He catches me with no problem every time I play a game called Surprise Trust Fall. He can lift weights that weigh more than I do! He is so fun! He is always down for anything, and isn’t scared to try new things. This city kid has gone canoeing, camping, ski race spectating, polar plunging, rutabaga festivaling, snowmobiling, and has even ventured to areas without cell  reception!  He is so smart! He can do math without a calculator! He is an excel genius. He knows the words to so many rap songs. He’s got a retirement plan most people would kill for. He knew how to spoil me! He brings me flowers and Cheetos and Skittles. He sends the dog to daycare on my days off so I can have alone time with the kitty. He asks me out on dates. He surprises me with things that I am too cheap to buy for myself. He is so patient! Every night he calmly deals with my sleep induced tantrums when I fall asleep on the couch and he tries to move me to the bedroom. He talks me through calculating the tip at restaurants every single time. He talks me down from every grouchy mood I’ve ever been in. He is so athletic! I’ve gotten to watch him play kickball, and he is a city league champion pitcher! He can throw a baseball and a football, and shoot a hoop. He can swing a golf club like a boss! He is a fighter! He kicks ass at his job, and is always trying to advance his career. He never stops working to make things better for our little family. And he is so funny! He tells the stupidest jokes. He found a text to voice app on his phone and types out literally the dumbest stuff I’ve ever heard and then plays it that makes me laugh until I am crying. He has the quickest wit of anyone I’ve ever met, he keeps even a seasoned smart aleck like me on my tiptoes. We spend more time laughing together than anything else. Specks and all.

And the best part is – not only do I get all of this wrapped up into a hairy little husband package, but our kids get to have him as a dad. He may worry that he doesn’t know a thing about babies, and spend far too much time creating offspring related expense spreadsheets, and fret about the fact that we are in no way qualified to have the life of a teeny, delicate, vulnerable seahorse plopped into our laps and expected to ensure not only its basic survival, but to also make sure it is healthy, happy, and thriving – but I know what Gates maybe doesn’t realize yet – he’s already made up of all the stuff that makes for a great, amazing, awesome dad. And I know that because I have one.

Me and the little octopus are lucky, lucky duckies.

 

A huge shout out to all the fathers out there, especially my amazing pops, Poppi, and grandpa who has left this earth. Thank you to the dads who set an amazing example for their sons about what it takes to be a father and a parent, and who make their families a priority. And the very best of luck to all the dads to be in the world, wondering where their parenting journey will take them. You can do it 🙂